Moments for Myself

My morning starts at a (not so) bright and early 6:15 in the morning. I wake up and hit the ground running: getting C on the bus for 7:10, everyone fed, husband out the door, diaper changes, nursing the baby, laundry started, dish washer emptied… mostly done by 8:30. These things aren’t so much a choice as they are a necessity because the rest of my day is full as well with dinner prep, more laundry, bill paying, kissing boo-boos  homeschooling M and M, vacuuming (whoever decided that a dining room should be carpeted should be SHOT… seriously), breaking up fights, ect.

I don’t say all this to receive accolades or sympathy, but more to explain how I keep my sanity. I quite literally schedule moments for myself. Once I get C and hubs off to school and work, respectively, I give M and M free play time in the boys room and put the baby down for a early morning snooze (30-45 minutes). At this point in time silence befalls my house. I turn off the tv, put on some worship music, pour myself a coffee and read the paper/bible/blogs/whatever I enjoy. This time is truly mine. Yes there is the occasional “please go back in that room” or “if you wake up the baby I swear…” but all in all it’s mine to do what I want with.

Mom’s NEED this time. We need to know that part of our day is reserved for ourselves. It is a time to unwind, collect our thoughts, or just be able to hear ourselves breathe. Personally, this “me time” sets the tone for my day. There have been days that I haven’t been able to squeeze it in because of one reason or another and I am a wretched human being for the remaining 11 hours until I go to bed at night.

Maybe morning mommy moments won’t work for you. Your child(ren) are not at the age where they can play by themselves or take a morning snooze. That is ok! But I encourage you to designate some amount of time throughout the day for yourself whether it be nap time, lunch time or right after the kids go to bed. Put down the rags and cleaner, leave the kitchen a mess for a bit, and let the laundry stay bundled in the basket a while longer. A burnt out mom is no use to anyone, but being able to recharge, even for 20 minutes, gives you the emotional and mental stamina to tackle the rest of your day.

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2013= Cha, cha, cha, CHANGES!

Well we’ve made it, this morning we all ushered in a new year. 2013! Sure to be a year of excitement and growth. But for the Dresser clan it’s going to be a year of BIG changes!

If you recall several months ago I mentioned my husbands graduation from college which was coupled with the ever dreaded “finding a job” waiting game. We applied to every job we saw, every state possible, fully intending on it being a 6 month+ endeavor. Two months later, we have a job offer! However, not only do we have a job offer but we have ACCEPTED a job offer!

I would love to be able to say that the job is in Illinois and we’ll be able to stay by all of our new friends and our amazing church, but unfortunately I can’t. Kyle’s new job begins February 4th! So that means, my diligent readers, that our family will be setting up some new roots in Scottsbluff, Nebraska!! Where, you ask, is Scottsbluff, NE? It is located smack dab in the middle of nowhere on the western line of Nebraska, 40 minutes from Wyoming and 3 hours from Denver, CO.

It is a town of about 17,000 people connected to a town (Gering, NE) of about 6,500 people or so and then not much else for about 50-80 miles in any direction!
We’re incredibly excited for this opportunity to start our lives over. While we will miss the friends that we have made, the family we have here, and our church that has changed so much in our lives we realize that this move is probably the best one that we can make. It will afford us the opportunity to get plugged in somewhere else, live the simple life that we desire SO much and experience a new GORGEOUS area.
So what’s next? Well… January 8-10th we’re going to fly out to Denver (the closest major airport) and make the 3 hour drive to Gering, where Kyle will fill out his new hire paper work and we will begin the search for a place to live! Our goal is to all move out there together, but understand that if that is not possible we will move when we find a place.

I would ask that you just be in prayer for all of us. This is a big move that will come with big adjustments for all of us and that is difficult with little kids. We trust and know that God is sovereign and will not lead us where he doesn’t want us, but it’s still a little scary! Pray that we will have a quick and easy adjustment and that the house search is easy so we can all move together and not be separated.

Oh and if anyone has any boxes that would be AWESOME! haha….

A Lost Sacredness

There is an epidemic attatcking America these days. It effects 50% of marriages outside of the church and just about 38% of marriages of regular church attenders. This epidemic cannot be cured by a medication, a shot or being put in quarantine. It effects everyone it touches and touches more people than you realize. This epidemic is divorce.

God created marriage. He created it to be a beautiful partnership in which two become one. Matthew 19:5-6 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” The vows that are taken when two people get married are intended to be a serious covenant, a joining of souls, a lifetime commitment. So my question is… what happened??

This is what happened….

We have become a society of immediate gradification. We want dinner, we go through a drive thru and in 2 minutes our bellies are full. We want to buy something but don’t have the funds so we swipe a plastic card and walk out with our merchandise. We feel like our marriage is holding us back or things are harder than we had anticipated so we file some paperwork and our “freedom” is given to us. People think that this fast and easy way of getting exactly what we want when we want it has made our lives better, but I happen to believe quite the contrary.

There was a day not too terribly long ago when things had to be worked for, saved for and giving up just wasn’t an option. The food on the dinner table was made from scratch and therefore had more value to us. Divorce was taboo and therefore giving up on your marriage was almost out of the question. (Let me be clear that I’m not talking about the very serious and real cases of abuse, neglect, or infidelity. In those situations I think you have to do what you feel is right for yourself with guidance from God. I’m referring to the “just don’t get along” situations) Our spouses have become disposable to us and very easily replaceable. Our marriages hold very little value any more. People just don’t want to do the hard work that it takes to sustain a marriage and counseling is seen as a sign of weakness.

What can we do?

Hebrews 13:4a says, “Let marriage be held in honor above all.” It is our call to hold marriage as an honor, a holy gift and a blessing. As Christians (and even as non-Christians) divorce should be taken off the table and our vows should be taken seriously. “For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or health…as long as we both shall live,” (I get that in modern ceremonies those aren’t always the vows but I’m pretty sure that none of them feature an escape clause).

Probably the most important thing we can do to help our marriage is have a willingness to work hard at it. I talk to so many “soon to be married” couples and they say, “I just can’t wait to be married, it’s gonna be amazing” or, “I can’t wait to be his/her wife/husband, it’ll be the greatest job I have.” And don’t get me wrong, it will be amazing, and it will be the greatest job, but it will also be incredibly difficult. There will be days that you just want to cry. There will be times when this person you’re living with hurts you more than anyone else ever has or ever could. And there will even be days when all you want to do is give up. (Call me overly psycho-babbled but) I truly believe that every relationship can benefit from counseling. Open up those lines of communication and let the conversation get messy sometimes. It’s in that messiness that layers are peeled back, and wounds are opened to allow for a deeper healing and understanding of each other in your marriage.

I’ll leave you with one last thought. How do you love your spouse? Ephesians 5:33 says, “each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife should respect her husband.” What a great challenge that is for all of us!